Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy bullshit

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What are some ballbusting stories?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I have a reading level above third grade

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I actually pay taxes

What do you think is the #1 cause of why relationships nowadays don't seem to last long?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Do you feel uncomfortable when you come across cross dressers?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What are the possible reasons for people feeling depressed after the holiday season? Why does being alone exacerbate these feelings?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand how hurricane paths work

What happens if someone fills up their car at the pump but leaves without paying? How is this situation typically handled?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Do you have any opinion on Japanese writer/actor Yukio Mishima?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What is it like to date a women 20 years younger than yourself?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why are Republicans so afraid of a strong leader like Vice President Kamala Harris? Are they worried if she becomes President she will make them look stupid?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I can count

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can read

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened